family reunion

My family just got back from a trip to my childhood hometown. well its really just a village . My aunt on my fathers side hosted a reunion on Thanksgiving .Every time i go to Ramer i am surprised at how familiar the surroundings are and also how things have changed and progressed .The field across the road from my childhood house , where they would cut hay .Is now a walking park . The large white Cannon family house that sat on the hill above and across from my grandparents place is gone . The old baptist church that was old and feeble when i was young is now freshly painted ,clean and they had service there the Sunday before our reunion .I was struck by how many old friends and family had gone on to their reward .I watched my kids play with there cousins ,enjoying the nice weather . I enjoyed the hugs and conversations of things past and present . I was touched by the story my uncle told of how God thru his former daughter in law had started a revival in his family. It was a good time .I looked around and saw how time has passed .It was great to be able to go ,I looked at the yard where as a child i played .good memories indeed .i have a lot to be thankful for :-)

Beautiful Angel Chapter 5 (a work of fiction)

It had taken a little more work than Lanell had expected to find Stephen's alias on" Single and Looking Site" or "SALS" as they liked to call it. But she had found him on SALS he used Derrick Lord as his clever alias . Lanell had chosen Lita Sky for her SALS name . "Lita and Derrick" had already engaged in some very flirty chats but the trap was not quite set . Lita had suggested that work might bring her close to the St. Louis area soon .But she had given no specific date as yet on when that would happen. Lanell was very happy in the work she had put into this it was like a labour of love for her but not the love everyone else talked about . She liked her volunteer work ,and She had loved her mom and dad .She morned them when they died ,she still mourned them .It wasn't her mothers fault she fallen under the spell of that low down cheating bastard of a Deputy . Lanell thought. She cursed the day her mom's car had broken down on the way back from town. Deputy Barns had been to happy to give them a ride back to the house. "Now Mrs. Hawk let me help you with those bags ,no need of a pretty lady as yourself getting all worked up getting these groceries in the house " He had said. That was all it took for Deputy Barnes to weasel his way in.He had talked her Mom into many things volunteering at food drives,helping plan civic functions ,and not the least of which talking her into his bed ,cruiser,back alley or where ever they could . But Lanell's dad was no fool, he found out all right . He caught them on a turn row on the back side of their farm in Deputy Barns cruiser .They argued . Shots were fired by her father and Deputy Barnes .Lanell knew in her heart that her dad hadn't meant to shoot her mom ,she knew he was trying to shoot that sorry Deputy Barns .But in the end her dad's gun had shot her mom and that bastard Barns ,and her dad was shot by Deputy Barnes .Lanell's parents both died out on that turn row .Deputy Barns lived through the shooting and probably would have been Lanell's first hunt ,but he died of a blood clot just a couple days after getting out of the hospital. He may have tasted death ,but not at her hands and that wasn't enough to fill the void she felt .She was a Beautiful Angel and she would have her need met over and over again. It wouldn't be long till Stephen Harrison aka "Derrick Lord" would get what he deserved . Lanell thought .She smiled and laughed a little to herself, she would set Judith Harrison free ,and it would be soon..

Beautiful Angel chapter 4 (a work of fiction)

It has been almost a month since her date with "John/ James". Lanell thought to herself .She had tried to keep herself busy showing the world her sweet exterior .It was a lovely and kind camouflage that covered the ever hungry need she felt .Her volunteer work at the local library ,was a nice distraction.She enjoyed helping with the children's reading program. The help she gave at the council for aging monthly meals on wheels ,was much appreciated . The paintings that Lanell did were not high art by any means ,but they were a helpful pacifier to the need.And those paintings offered a somewhat plausible excuse for her assorted road trips .Oh yes, she would tell the ladies at the library of how she would sell her folk art to certain people on those trips .The money her folks had left her and the farmland she rented out were her real bread and butter. But who would know that those paintings never sold .Why, she was great at lying and nobody thought she made much on them anyway . It wouldn't be long before she couldn't control the need but it was still in check. She was already planning her next trip .This time it would be a little different. This time she wouldn't be looking for a random "John ,Jack ,or Sonny or .......". This time would be a true work of art. Lanell had befriended Judy on a message board online, but of course she had used "Angel " as her name . It was a help board for women who thought their spouses were cheating . "The cheaters corner " as the board was called . Judy had told of how her husband "Steve" was always having to help friends,work late, hang with the boys ,or whatever excuse he could come up with to have time for his escapades .But it wouldn't be long before Judy wouldn't have to worry about "Steve's " misdeeds . Lanell had used a few details and a lot of online searching to find that Judith Harrison and her husband Stephen Harrison lived just out side good ole St. Louis in the suburb of Lights Way . It seems Lights Way was a somewhat solidly upper middle class community . It would take a little work to lure "Steve " into her trap , but that was what will make this hunt a most exciting way to feed the ever present need. "Angel " had consoled Judy many time ,when "Steve " had come home with another woman's sent . He was after all a good provider and a good father to there 12 year son and 9 year old daughter .Angel knew from their conversations that Judy was to weak a vessel to leave Steve or kick him out. But in the time they had been conversing she had grown quite fond of Judy .So this time the hunt would help release a women who truly deserved to be set free. The thought of being able to comfort Judy in the aftermath was quite intriguing to .What a trophy that would be.Lanell thought to herself .

Beautiful Angel chapter 3 (a work of fiction )

The great release she felt as she finished putting "John" away in the hole she had prepared in the out lying woods was intoxicating . The deep soreness she would feel in her back and legs ,would be a somewhat painful yet happy reminder of her need being fulfilled . She would think of "John " or James E. Murry as the license in his wallet said every time those muscles would ache in the coming days . She would also keep the tiny little golden band that he so predictably hid in right pocket of his pants .Lanell had done this so many times and yet she was still amused at the almost certainty of the location his ring would be found. Tomorrow James' wife would wonder where he was at ,his little girl would not be bounced on her daddy's knees.But these thoughts made Lanell amused for she had truly done them a favor .She had released them from a man who didn't value what he had.A man looking to use and throw away what ever floozy would bat their eyes at him. She felt happy ,and satisfied like no man could ever do with sex. But now was the the time to move. Far from the darkness of this strange town and back to the simple life that Lanell Hawk showed the world . It would be a long drive back to home but then again that was kind of the point .You can't do the things she done to close to home cause that was a sure way to get caught .And Lanell was positive that she was to be the beautiful angel of mercy/death for a long while . The highway rolled on before her ,she was tired but still feeling the intense wave of excitement that would come over her as she replayed not just James death but also many more that had come before him. It was breaking dawn now ,but her memories would keep her awake .This was all part of it and she was happy. It was not quite noon when she arrived home .She pulled her Cherokee in the old ,but still well taken care of barn. She was glad that her parents had left her this small farm .It was just right for her needs in so many ways .Lanell liked to blend in,but when she needed privacy this was her refuge .And the rent she got from the farmland that surrounded her house helped to further her calling . She eased to the house ,unlocked the door and entered .She headed down the hallway through the pantry door and through the panel that covered the entrance to her secret place were she kept her mementos ,her little treasures from the need. She opened the box and placed James ring and license inside .She shut the box,closed the panel .It was time for a well deserved shower .And after that a much needed sleep .Lanell Hawk had safely come home again ,the hunt would be on again soon,but for now the need was contented.She could relax and blend in once again..or could she.

Beautiful Angel chapter two (a work of fiction )

It was a little cooler and damper now as they exited the #659 club . My vehicle is just down the block she told John. Liza we can take my car if you would like John responded. Well i would feel better taking mine John ,and i haven't had anything to drink she said as she batted her eyes and gave that winning smile . They made it to her vehicle an unassuming dark blue Jeep Grand Cherokee .Liza unlocked the doors and told" John" get in on the passenger side they tell me its a very comfortable seat she said with a nice little laugh .John gave a little laugh and and did as instructed . Johns balance wasn't to good as he got in.That liquid courage has that effect on a lot of guys Liza had noticed through the years .She cranked the vehicle and they started down the road .She turned on the radio keeping the volume low . John what do you do for a living ,she asked as she pretended not to notice those tell-tale marks on his ring finger ,made by a now phantom ring .The golden band that should be adorning his left hand . I am an accounting manager at a local firm .He was being vague, but charming as he could be . Liza nodded her approval not wanting to probe ,at least not yet .So what kinda sales are you in Liza he asked trying to act as if he cared .Oh I work for a book distributor ,so that keeps me on the road a lot .Cool !John said while eyeing her .Where are we heading ? Well there was this nice area i saw after my meeting today I believe the name was Howel park . John tried to play cool but he was getting excited ,so what are we gonna do out at the park?Play on the slide he said sounding as flirty as he could .Liza smiled and gave him that look out corner of her eye .John we are gonna have some fun ,some real fun .You can handle that huh she purred at John .Oh hell yeah John said ,i 'll give you as much as you can stand .They entered a side road just inside the park .She eased the vehicle down between some trees. John reached over and grabbed her just as soon as she put the Cherokee in park . He was excited alright .She let him embrace her. He was kissing her neck while his hands went to her breast .She moaned a little and let him go a few seconds more ,before she said John sweetly, lets slow it down just a little .His body kinda jerked a bit and he stopped .I thought this is what we came out here for he said .Oh it is baby but my seats in back fold down and are much better than this cramped front seat Liza told him . OK ! i get ya John said . They eased out of the vehicle and into the back seat .It was nicer back here John thought . Liza said just relax John i will take care of you .Those eyes were working their magic .She pulled his shirt off and loosened his pants ."John" was very excited .Liza pulled off her jacket and climbed on top of John making sure she pressed him in just the right way .Close your eyes John she said as she gently kissed his lips .He did as she requested she raised up and rubbed her left ring finger on his lips . He purred a little .and breathed deep in anticipation of the pleasure he would surely be getting any second .To Liza's amusement he didn't even scream when her right hand plunged the knife into his chest. "John's" eyes bugged ,and he made those familiar bucking motions ,his arms flopping and flailing .Oh yes this was the fun Liza loved ,this was the need she had to fulfill .This ride ,straddling her victim ,feeling him die. Here she could be herself .Here she was the beautiful angel.......of death. She felt the shiver ,the electric energy of the successful hunt as "John " finally expired. She felt truly alive ,but just like every hunter knows once the hunt is over the work begins .

Beautiful Angel chapter one (a work of fiction)

The street lights gave off their hazy glow ,as she exited the vehicle. She breathed in deeply smelling the night air . Tonight she would be on the hunt again ,the pang in her gut was starting to grow. The need she had would not be denied ,it was her joy,it was her curse ,it was her calling . She turned toward the drivers side mirror ,checking her appearance .What she saw was astounding even to her .The reflection staring back at her was not the simple plain faced Lanell Anna Hawk ,that was the face she sold the normal world into believing .NO ,it was not Lanell staring but it was a woman who knew how to grab attention.A woman who knew just how to do her hair just right .A women who knew just what make-up was needed . She was so proud of what gift she had . Staring back from the mirror was not Lanell but Angel ,or Liza ,Beth or any other of the names . She used when it was time to hunt . Laughing a little to herself ,she was glad her dimensions were a little larger more sturdier than those starving girls you see on the newsstands. Those girls wouldn't have the strength or endurance to do the things that she could .And you can buy colored contact lenses ,but those didn't compare to her eyes .They were just the right shade of blue to look nice and warm when she was Lanell ,and with a little eyeliner and shadow they became her hypnotic devices when the hunt was on . Tonight she would be Liza,she thought as she entered the club. It was nearing closing time but there was still a respectable crowd at the #659 club. The band was playing slower ballads as the night wound down. Liza surveyed the crowd, so many couples ,or just people acting as couple to fill there needs. Liza felt a little smirk come across her face as she knew how different her need was to theirs. She spotted him out of the corner her .He was in his mid to late 30's she guessed and he was full of liquid courage . He stepped up to her and smiled .I don't think i have seen you in here before ,my name is John .Liza gave him the look ,that one that only her eyes made possible .She gave a little shrug I am Liza ,good to meet you John. Liza knew that "John " was not his name but then again who was she to judge .I am new in town ,here on business .But tonight is all about pleasure she said giving him a coy smile and a slight wink. He was elated at her response . John looks like there fixing to shut down here Liza told him .Would you like to go for a ride to relax a little bit .Oh that would be great he said with a smile .........

fuuny quote

"nothing bonds a father and son together more closely than the truth about the decapitated hooker in the rec room .but pee wee sports will do that too "(quoted by narrator on the SQUIDBILLIES ) i don't know why this made me laugh but it did :-)

tis the season

Its funny how the holiday season gets earlier and earlier every year . It seems that as quickly as we get Halloween over ,that retailers just want to blow by one of the great truly american holidays . Thanksgiving is getting a raw deal these days. Admittedly the history of our country is plauged with falsehood and propaganda. But the celebration of thankgiving was started by people who were gratefull for the kindness of what the Lord had provided them though the relations they had with the native americans . They were put here on a clean slate sort of .I like thanksgiving because its the holiday not about blatant commercialism but about family getting together to share a meal, a laugh , maybe a hunt, games ,and yes things that they are truly thankful for . This time last year ,i was living a lie .I was a man who for various reasons had put himself in a situation were he was living two different lives .One that looked good to everyone around him ,the other life was not the upstanding christian man that most people thought they knew . I am thankfull that I have been restored and renewed in my life . I don't know that i will ever be a traditional christian ,but i do know and recognize that without my faith i am nothing .I am thankful for my family ,we are salt of the earth people .I am thankfull for the friends i have .I am thankful to live in our country the United States of America . I am thankful to be alive . This thanksgiving take time to consider things you are thankful of ,you just might find that you have a brighter and more happy holiday season .God Bless

twists and turns

Life twists and turns in many wild and unpredictable ways .Choices made are factors in how ones life goes .Sometime ago i made a bad decision ,it has gone on to effect several peoples lives to differing degrees.But one thing i do know ,is that no matter how tough it is to deal with .Having gone down this road has has had a greater purpose in my life .I have truly grown in both character and spirit.I am not proud of my actions ,and if i could take it all back i would . As a very powerful song by casting crowns says "its a slow fade when you give yourself away ,families never crumble in a day ".I thank God my family has stayed in tact The experience has made me more mindful of my needs ,more watchful of things in my life and a lot less judgmental. I love to offer words of encouragement to others and take an interest in family and friends lives .But at the end of the day its me and my family that I am called to take care of .But in sharing my joys ,sorrows ,regrets , love ,kindness,and yes even anger with others . I find I get back as much and usually a whole lot more. Whats a life worth living if its not worth sharing with your fellow man.

just a happy post

Very few things in life are as nice as good news or a nice complement .Today my uncle was baptised for the first time in his life ,he is 65 and if that wasn't nice enough news my cousin and his wife were also baptised .It is wonderful news to me and i praise God for it . I also was tagged in picture post where my oldest niece ,said i was the person who changed her life ,then she had another that i was her coolest uncle .I was very touched by her sentiment . I simply take time to listen to her and offer advice as i can .The best thing i told her bears repeating ,you can't let fear control your life .She did put a smile on my face ,the news of my uncle put a lot of joy in my heart .I am very thankful for my family and friends .I am thankful for what i have in this life . I am glad that even in being imperfect God still lets me have a positive influence on those around me ,and lets those around me have a positive influence on me .

tuesday night

It was dark now,he looked around with relief. The little breeze that was blowing made it all the better .The stars shining brightly in the sky ,watch down as he goes about his solemn task .Slowly ever so slowly he rolls his cargo quietly down the drive ,enbracing the darkness . Its only tuesday night but still this task must be done .He looks at the simple brick house that houses the things he loves so dearly ,he wonders what could be happening inside . But still his task goes on .Finally he has made it to the edge of the road .He thinks to himself thank God trash day only comes one time a week .

my stomach hurts

This morning while getting my children up and encouraging them to get ready for the school day ahead . The kids were well on the way to of their respective morning rituals ,when my girl comes and says "daddy my stomach hurts " well after the usual questions :do you feel like you might throw up,when did you last go to the bathroom .It was deemed necessary for her to stay home ,just in case .I started breakfast at eight she helped make the grits ,cause she was now hungry .She later went with me and my wife to the local Sam's club were me and her looked at books and played with items at the store while my wife shopped .My girl was not as sick as she had led us to believe ,but i don't begrudge her a day off with us by herself cause the times she gets to spend without sibling rivalry are few and far between .I hope she starts taking her classes more seriously she is very smart ,and very pretty.But she still has to apply herself to make her dreams come true . I did enjoy the day with her .

the enigma of the fight

The enigma steps to the spotlight ,he is not consumed by fame or the adoration .He trains in the same places he has since a child .He thinks of his work as just his job .But with all the humility he poses he is still the best .He walks the runway emotionless, his game face looks like no other devoid of any hate ,or malice .He doesn't look the part ,he is not huge ,he is not muscular,but behind the blankness he is smart ,beneath the docile demeanor he is lightning fast. Behind his eyes lie a killer instinct . His opponent though bigger in stature , stands and stares at the enigma .He hopes that he will be able to stop the enigma.They meet in the center of the cage ,it is now evident that the opponent's confidence is not as it was in the previous battles he had waged and won.The fight starts it is tough on both men the enigma is cut on the now broken nose ,the opponent had landed hard and the blood flows .The enigma lands the opponent is stunned. The ply their trade on the ground ,it is a rough and bloody battle .The bell rings the round is over .The opponent is not happy. The enigma though battered and bloody is unfazed he has done this many times . The bell sounds the second round starts both men locked in battle the pace is not fast but steady and exciting .Then it happens as it has in many battles ,its swiftness extraordinary .The enigma has watched ,he has waited ,he has timed. The opponent just throed a punch ,but the enigma put his whole being into his punch .The opponent hits the canvas . The enigma though humble ,and grateful to God . He is the best again today .