weary soldier

He fights in the battlefield ,his armor weighing heavy on his weary body .His heart feels the victory that his eyes can't see.Why, looking at the carnage that surrounds him,the maimed ,the wounded and the dead .His nostrils filled with the smell of blood. The stench of death is not as disarming as the foul smell of fear. He is brave ,he must fight on . They are coming from every angle but he well trained .He shows no mercy as he knows he would be shown none from them . His enemies fall by his sword ,his shield blocks the angry strikes against him .His fellow soldiers fight beside him .Some are as stealthy as he but some fall to the enemy.It saddens his heart to glimpse his brothers in arms fall but he doesn't let that stop his fight.This is not the time for sadness,this is the time to fight.When all the battle is over they can mourn and celebrate.Still he fights . The victory will soon be theirs,it is in the grasp. The enemy is no match for the preparation this soldier and his brothers in arms have. The enemy flees back to the hills back to the hollows .They may try to launch another attack at some point but today the soldier releshes in victory . He looks toward the heavens and gives thanks to his God .Now is the time to mend the wounded and bury the dead. He and his fellow soldiers have fought well ,and have their honor intact .They will live to fight another day.Every man will taste of death ,eventually but the spirit of the soldier in the service of the Lord will be victorious even in death .

just a thought

We went and watched the movie the Avatar as a family event .It was a good movie the ,3 D was light years ahead of the last movie supposedly in 3 d i watched. But part of the story line was that the native people the "NavI" .could through this tree connect with their ancestors . I have thought on this subject several times as to why some things seem so familiar and easy and others seem very foreign . You know some people might be a gifted carpenter for the simple fact that they were passed on maybe like something genetically from an ancestor that caused them to have better skill at the onset .just a thought .but i have seen places and had deja vu ,or i have been in the middle of a task and felt the same thing like i have done this before . just thinking out loud .as it were

ho ho ho

tis the season or so they say .I enjoy Christmas to a great extent .But have found that the older i get i see the joy i have is from my kids .I love watching them get and actually enjoy playing ,reading and using the things they receive. I am making memories they will have and cherish as they get older.I will no doubt cherish the Christmas memories we have made together as i age. My sister in law cooked our Christmas Eve supper it was a wonderful meal with four courses ,she did a great job. My wife read the Christmas story to all the young kids .The time we spend together is not ever perfect ,but it is nice and we all get along pretty well. Not to mention we have good times as a large extended family . I looked at some old picture albums from my childhood and remembered all the family get togethers i had as a child . I am glad to have those memories down in my heart .I know that one day as my kids look back on our get togethers .I am certain they will feel joy ,and good thoughts ,and appreciate the times we have had . .I am thankful for the people in my life both friends and family .I am thankful for the ones that have gone on to their reward that touched my life .Merry Christmas to all .

sons of change

I have watched him grow from child to young man .I have loved ,nurtured ,taught ,and tried the best that i know to help him along his way .He is in between the little boy he was and the grown man he will become. He is on an emotional roller coaster ride .One that i don't care to ride and one he must be a captive passenger on.He is happy at times ,sad at others and confused a lot of the time .He is in the midst of change at all time .My love for him amazes me at times .His harsh words that he says from time to time wound my heart. I have to remember he is not pushing against me. He is trying to push to find who he is ,who he will become. I am here for him .I have spent more time with him than i had with my father. I hope he will one day truly see what i have done for him .I don't expect it to be easy. But I pray for his sake that it will be worth it . Amen .

east to west west to east

Today we went to my sons class Christmas party .We brought cup cakes half were red and half were green. The kids were surprisingly well behaved throughout the party.It being a party I thought they might be a little rambunctious ,but all treated their teacher and the parents that came with respect. I did notice one thing in the classroom that i found amusing it nothing to do with the kids .on each wall was labeled the direction north ,south ,east,west that was supposed to corresponds with the wall .but the east wall was clearly labeled west ,and vise versa the west wall was labeled east .I found this amusing ,and quietly told my wife that's why during a conversation with my son about which way our house was pointed he got east and west backwards. I could not bring myself to point this out to his teacher ,she has done such a good job with them. I have seen her improve through the years .She truly enjoys my son and he truly enjoys her . The great teaching she has done to all the kids in her class .Both the good ,the bad ,and the trouble makers .I will forgive her for having to readjust his east and west . For she has help give him confidence and purpose in his self .God bless those that really teach our kids not just curriculum but how to treat each other well in life.

Beautiful Angel chapter 10(a work of fiction)

Lanell passed into the darkness again. "What is happening ? I had this all worked out . " she thought to herself out of the fog that clouded her mind . She was neither cold nor hot ,but she was scared and she was pissed.The need had not been fed.She shuddered at the thought of not getting to control her life anymore . HEY!!! HELLO!!! She hollered . Silence was the only return she got . She managed to slither and slide herself to some wall of whatever room she was in. "Probably a basement . "she thought . Suddenly she noticed a faint noise in darkness.Could be a rat.Or it could be something larger. Swish ........ she heard it again ,but this time she heard or felt the faint sound of breathing .The bastard(s) are watching me .Out of the darkness they are watching ,savoring and anticipating.They probably have those night vision goggles . HEY!!! I know yall are in here ,no sense acting like you can't hear me .Lanell said as firm and steadily as she could . Still ,silence met her plea. What are we gonna do ,what do you want from me !! Lanell said more frantic than she wanted to sound .Nothing but the faint breathing sounded in her ear. Stephen is that you !! she demanded . Finally a faint laugh ,but to her surprise it was the lilting laugh of a female . Who the hell is Stephen ? Lanell jerked at this response."The guy that was with me when,well you know more about what happened than i do "spoke Lanell . Well i don't know Stephen, but unfortunately Derrick is dead in your vehicle ,I used that pretty knife you had in the back of your vehicle.I told Derrick if he wouldn't be mine and only mine then he wouldn't be any ones . I guess he did not believe me ,I gave him time . But he was still drawn to tramps like you .Said the voice in the dark ."Whats your name?Are you Judy ? "Asked Lanell . "Who is Judy ?" the voice asked. "Who I am is not your concern ,but what I am is your concern .This Stephen and Judy you speak of i don't know .I don't know what you were planning with Derrick but they will eventually find him in your vehicle dead as a hammer with just your fingerprints and his in there. They will know who you are ,and they will try to track you down. But you know what sweety ? " the voice out of the darkness spoke.Lanell took a long breath in and exhaled slowly mulling these facts over." What?" Lanell said grudgingly . With that the lights came on .It took a couple of seconds for Lanells eyes to adjust to the sudden change.But then she saw who the voice was coming from .She was a beauty . Long legs ,brunette hair ,penetrating green eyes ,but that wasn't the smile of a novice across her face.This woman had dealt in death before ,and she was looking to deal out death again .Lanell was alarmed to say the least .She struggled at the ropes that bound her ,she screamed NO!!!Not like this !! With that the nameless woman was above Lanell .She slapped her prisoner upside the head .Then pulled Lanell by the hair .The nameless beauty spoke again "Don't worry sweety the cops won't ever find you .With that she sliced Lanells throat. The blood started flowing. Lanell lie on the ground her life slowly draining away ."Because the ones this Angel takes care of are never heard from again. For I am your Beautiful Angel of Death." spoke the nameless beauty . Lanells enchanting eyes now looked all around but the darkness overtook her one last time .Lanell thought of her life and all the death she had dealt and smiled just a little .Her eyes wide open as death had its final laugh.

Beautiful Angel chapter 9 (a work of fiction)

When they pulled out of the parking lot Lita turned the radio on.But kept the volume low,so her and Derrick could converse as it were."What do you have in mind pretty lady."Derrick smugly asked." I thought we might ride out by the river. i saw a nice secluded spot down there." Lita cued back at him with a roll of those tempting eyes ."You sure you don't want to go get a room or something ?"Derrick asked . She flashed that smile and batted those eyes at him .Why Derrick my back seats fold down comfortably and won't it be fitting to get the um" ride of your life "in the back of a fine ride such as mine. He smiled at her and said ."What ever you like pretty lady."With that he leaned over and nibbled at her neck and ear lobe. She acted like this excited her but what really excited her was the thought of killing this worthless piece of garbage. They arrived at the road by the river ,it took a little longer to get there than she expected.The traffic had been a lot slower than in the day .They crept along the back road .Derrick had pulled out his cell phone and made a quick text."Who was that too your ...your girlfriend?" Lita asked with a smile .Oh just a co-worker asking me about a report ." Derrick told her smiling. But his face showed a little uneasiness.It was probably him telling Judy he was having to work later than he thought .Lita thought to herself. He leaned over and kissed her full on the lips ,his tongue darting in hers. It was a nice passionate kiss ,and on any normal woman it would have stirred the heat up .But the kiss did nothing for Lita ,she had one goal in mind .Why don't we ease out and into the back seats .She said .He didn't protest .Hey Lita could you leave the radio on please ? he asked. "You bet ." she said back . In her mind she thought" whatever puts you at ease ." She got out of the drivers door and headed to the back seat which she folded down . Derrick patiently waited as Lita prepared the backseats .He entered the back and started to kiss her lips ,then moved to her neck. She said. "Derrick why don't you take your shirt off and lay down ,let me do the work." Her eyes worked their magic even in the pale moonlight .Ah OK ,if that's what you like .He took off his shirtand laid back .Lita rubbed him just right .She leaned over and kissed him while starting to unlatch his belt buckle ."Just relax and close your eyes Derrick . I have this all under control .".she purred at him.He did just as she said .Lita could feel his excitement growing. She eased on top and put just the right amount of pressure on him .She leaned over and caressed his lips lightly with her left ring finger.Lita swooned up knife in hand ,oh this was gonna be great she thought .But in that instant the door behind her flung open and a sharp pain hit her neck ,after that darkness over came Lita.
Lanell did not know how long she had been out.She awoke to darkness all around .She was bound at her hands and feet .Her head pounded and she felt groggy .One thing was certain this wasn't a police station,and this wasn't going to end well.

Beautiful Angel chapter 8 (a work of fiction)

Although the pic he had on his "SALS" profile was shot with him wearing sunglasses and at a good distance away. Lita Sky recognized Derrick/Stephen the instant he entered the door . He looked to be not quite six foot tall maybe a little less than 200 pounds . He looked kinda nervous or maybe just unsure that I would show .Lita thought to herself. Derrick surveyed the room ,oh yes he spotted Lita with the white scarf around her neck.Derrick looked very pleased at what he saw . He swaggered to the table ,flashing all the charm he could muster .You must be Lita. He said as he extended his hand .Lita flashed those eyes and answered him with a nod of the head and a smile .Derrick took this as a good sign and leaned over and gave Lita a little hug,before he took the seat across from her. How was your trip? He asked. It was very nice indeed.Lita replied with a little flirty smirk across her face .She had smelled the odor of liquor on Derrick ,it was a pleasant surprise. It would make her task all the more easy . Derrick smiled back at her telling her how glad he was that her trip had been nice.Is your work up here going well? He asked. Oh yes it has turned out to be a very profitable indeed .She stared into his eye and run the toe of her boot seductively up his leg .But we didn't come here to talk business did we? Lita slowly said.Her eyes were working their magic. Derrick was practically hypnotised by all this . I guess you came for a good time.He said with a smile.That i did indeed .Lita said. How about we get out of here and see what happens .Lita said with wink. That was all it took Derrick was at her side walking out the door. I am parked over here .He told her. Lita pulled back a little . Well how about we go in mine ,If ya don't mind .Lita said .It would make me a whole lot more comfortable .She mildly pleaded . Lady's choice i always say .Derrick laughingly said. Lead the way Lita ,take me to your willing ride . They crossed the parking lot and came to her Cherokee .Derrick pulled her close and gave a kiss to Lita .This is almost to easy Lita thought in her head .Derrick get in I'll drive .She said . "OK what ever makes you happy ".He said. You will find out what makes me happy very soon Derrick .YOU can count on that. Lita said in her teasing voice. It wouldn't be long till she would be able to fulfill her need . There was something odd about Derrick and she couldn't put her finger on it .Maybe it's just that they somewhat knew each other .This change in routine was fun but she felt slightly edgy . It would all be over soon for mister cheater...

Beautiful Angel chapter 7 (a work of fiction)

Lanell Anna Hawk had been a busy bee indeed,since she had arrived in Lights Way .She had found Stephen a wonderful final resting or rotting place as she liked to think of it .It was close to the river ,but far enough off the beaten path that it wouldn't be found . She had been in contact with both Judy and Stephen on the Internet.Stirring the pot to a brisk simmer with "Derrick" as it were. She offered Judy comfort ,support,and mild distractions from the skirt chasing husband. "Lita Sky" had set the date up with Derrick .They would meet at "Pulp of Joe " a coffee house /used book store that was near the turn off from Lights Way to St. Louis. There would be no need for him to be drunk this time .She had brought some tranquilizers to give his cup of joe a little kick.Lanell thought to herself. They would meet at eight and it wouldn't be long before she would take him close to the river .She was feeling very proud of the work she had put into this hunt. Lanell drove by Judy and Stephen's house she wanted to see it in the day . It looked nice but unremarkable ,The yellow paint was in great shape ,the hedges trimmed just right .But inside there was Judy a woman who she dared call friend in some way .Judy needed to be set free and "Angel/Lita " was gonna give that gift to her.

It was getting late in the evening when Lanell started the real transformation into "Lita Sky " . She pulled her hair down and fixed it just right .She applied the make-up that Lanell would never wear .That low cut blouse ,tight pants ,and those zip up boots would never see the light of day on Lanell but Lita was loving it . She looked at the mirror one more time before she left the hotel bound for Pulp of Joe .Lita liked what she saw staring back . She made her way to the dark blue Cherokee ."The hunt is on" .She thought to herself." Yes indeed it is . " The ride to Pulp of Joe was exhilarating ,her senses were heightened .She had told Derrick that she was looking to have a good time ,he said he would try to show her one . What a good time she was gonna have . She pulled towards the backside of the sparsely lit parking lot .It was Thursday night so fortunately there was not but a few people there .Lita stepped out of the Cherokee making sure to hang white scarf around her neck that she had told Derrick she would have on .She checked her makeup one more time ".Uhmm uhmm "she thought to herself .Lita looked hot ,Derrick did not stand a chance .She made her way into Pulp of Joe .Found her a small table in the corner ordered herself a nice latte .Patiently she waited on Derrick ,her anticipation growing with each passing minute . She did not have to wait long ......

Beautiful Angel chapter 6 (a work of fiction)

It had been close to two and half months since Lanell had been on her last date or hunt.But now the time was right .She thought to herself. The long drive ,from her family farm ,and the wonderful life she showed the world in Louisiana, was very soothing to the need that now firmly held her thoughts. She was on the hunt and savoring the time till she would reach Lights Way. Lanell thought of how different this hunt would be. Her chats with "Derrick" had become increasingly sexual in nature,and she had set the trap well .It did not take her long to persuade him to meet her in four days. That would give her plenty of time to prepare for him. She had her hotel booked, and would find where she would be planting Stephen/Derrick soon enough.
Eight more hours of driving and the real work would begin.Lanell thought to herself .She was starting to tingle and get that feeling the thrill of the hunt. Judy had no idea that soon her philandering husband would soon be breathing his last breath. Judy was still telling of how powerless she felt to stop her husband and his flings ,affairs what have you. Judy loved her kids and she loved Stephen Harrison .But Lanell first felt sympathy for Judy ,but now she had grown to feel a not love but deep like for her. The need that lived in Lanell would not allow love to enter in.Lanell thought of of all these things as she entered the quiet suburb of Lights Way .It was very late as she drove through the neighborhood .She finally found the street and slowly passed the very nice light yellow colored wood frame house that Judith Harrison ,her children and that undeserving husband called home. Time for sleep now she thought ,for her real work starts tomorrow . Lanell made her way to the hotel she would call home for the next few days .She settled in her room unpacked her clothes ,checked to make sure the Internet was working on her laptop .If not for Stephen she wouldn't have brought it ,but she would have to stir the pot sort of speak with it over the coming days .This was very different from her usual hunt but it was proving very satisfying .Everything is working good ,Lanell thought as she crawled into bed and sleep took her over.

family reunion

My family just got back from a trip to my childhood hometown. well its really just a village . My aunt on my fathers side hosted a reunion on Thanksgiving .Every time i go to Ramer i am surprised at how familiar the surroundings are and also how things have changed and progressed .The field across the road from my childhood house , where they would cut hay .Is now a walking park . The large white Cannon family house that sat on the hill above and across from my grandparents place is gone . The old baptist church that was old and feeble when i was young is now freshly painted ,clean and they had service there the Sunday before our reunion .I was struck by how many old friends and family had gone on to their reward .I watched my kids play with there cousins ,enjoying the nice weather . I enjoyed the hugs and conversations of things past and present . I was touched by the story my uncle told of how God thru his former daughter in law had started a revival in his family. It was a good time .I looked around and saw how time has passed .It was great to be able to go ,I looked at the yard where as a child i played .good memories indeed .i have a lot to be thankful for :-)

Beautiful Angel Chapter 5 (a work of fiction)

It had taken a little more work than Lanell had expected to find Stephen's alias on" Single and Looking Site" or "SALS" as they liked to call it. But she had found him on SALS he used Derrick Lord as his clever alias . Lanell had chosen Lita Sky for her SALS name . "Lita and Derrick" had already engaged in some very flirty chats but the trap was not quite set . Lita had suggested that work might bring her close to the St. Louis area soon .But she had given no specific date as yet on when that would happen. Lanell was very happy in the work she had put into this it was like a labour of love for her but not the love everyone else talked about . She liked her volunteer work ,and She had loved her mom and dad .She morned them when they died ,she still mourned them .It wasn't her mothers fault she fallen under the spell of that low down cheating bastard of a Deputy . Lanell thought. She cursed the day her mom's car had broken down on the way back from town. Deputy Barns had been to happy to give them a ride back to the house. "Now Mrs. Hawk let me help you with those bags ,no need of a pretty lady as yourself getting all worked up getting these groceries in the house " He had said. That was all it took for Deputy Barnes to weasel his way in.He had talked her Mom into many things volunteering at food drives,helping plan civic functions ,and not the least of which talking her into his bed ,cruiser,back alley or where ever they could . But Lanell's dad was no fool, he found out all right . He caught them on a turn row on the back side of their farm in Deputy Barns cruiser .They argued . Shots were fired by her father and Deputy Barnes .Lanell knew in her heart that her dad hadn't meant to shoot her mom ,she knew he was trying to shoot that sorry Deputy Barns .But in the end her dad's gun had shot her mom and that bastard Barns ,and her dad was shot by Deputy Barnes .Lanell's parents both died out on that turn row .Deputy Barns lived through the shooting and probably would have been Lanell's first hunt ,but he died of a blood clot just a couple days after getting out of the hospital. He may have tasted death ,but not at her hands and that wasn't enough to fill the void she felt .She was a Beautiful Angel and she would have her need met over and over again. It wouldn't be long till Stephen Harrison aka "Derrick Lord" would get what he deserved . Lanell thought .She smiled and laughed a little to herself, she would set Judith Harrison free ,and it would be soon..

Beautiful Angel chapter 4 (a work of fiction)

It has been almost a month since her date with "John/ James". Lanell thought to herself .She had tried to keep herself busy showing the world her sweet exterior .It was a lovely and kind camouflage that covered the ever hungry need she felt .Her volunteer work at the local library ,was a nice distraction.She enjoyed helping with the children's reading program. The help she gave at the council for aging monthly meals on wheels ,was much appreciated . The paintings that Lanell did were not high art by any means ,but they were a helpful pacifier to the need.And those paintings offered a somewhat plausible excuse for her assorted road trips .Oh yes, she would tell the ladies at the library of how she would sell her folk art to certain people on those trips .The money her folks had left her and the farmland she rented out were her real bread and butter. But who would know that those paintings never sold .Why, she was great at lying and nobody thought she made much on them anyway . It wouldn't be long before she couldn't control the need but it was still in check. She was already planning her next trip .This time it would be a little different. This time she wouldn't be looking for a random "John ,Jack ,or Sonny or .......". This time would be a true work of art. Lanell had befriended Judy on a message board online, but of course she had used "Angel " as her name . It was a help board for women who thought their spouses were cheating . "The cheaters corner " as the board was called . Judy had told of how her husband "Steve" was always having to help friends,work late, hang with the boys ,or whatever excuse he could come up with to have time for his escapades .But it wouldn't be long before Judy wouldn't have to worry about "Steve's " misdeeds . Lanell had used a few details and a lot of online searching to find that Judith Harrison and her husband Stephen Harrison lived just out side good ole St. Louis in the suburb of Lights Way . It seems Lights Way was a somewhat solidly upper middle class community . It would take a little work to lure "Steve " into her trap , but that was what will make this hunt a most exciting way to feed the ever present need. "Angel " had consoled Judy many time ,when "Steve " had come home with another woman's sent . He was after all a good provider and a good father to there 12 year son and 9 year old daughter .Angel knew from their conversations that Judy was to weak a vessel to leave Steve or kick him out. But in the time they had been conversing she had grown quite fond of Judy .So this time the hunt would help release a women who truly deserved to be set free. The thought of being able to comfort Judy in the aftermath was quite intriguing to .What a trophy that would be.Lanell thought to herself .

Beautiful Angel chapter 3 (a work of fiction )

The great release she felt as she finished putting "John" away in the hole she had prepared in the out lying woods was intoxicating . The deep soreness she would feel in her back and legs ,would be a somewhat painful yet happy reminder of her need being fulfilled . She would think of "John " or James E. Murry as the license in his wallet said every time those muscles would ache in the coming days . She would also keep the tiny little golden band that he so predictably hid in right pocket of his pants .Lanell had done this so many times and yet she was still amused at the almost certainty of the location his ring would be found. Tomorrow James' wife would wonder where he was at ,his little girl would not be bounced on her daddy's knees.But these thoughts made Lanell amused for she had truly done them a favor .She had released them from a man who didn't value what he had.A man looking to use and throw away what ever floozy would bat their eyes at him. She felt happy ,and satisfied like no man could ever do with sex. But now was the the time to move. Far from the darkness of this strange town and back to the simple life that Lanell Hawk showed the world . It would be a long drive back to home but then again that was kind of the point .You can't do the things she done to close to home cause that was a sure way to get caught .And Lanell was positive that she was to be the beautiful angel of mercy/death for a long while . The highway rolled on before her ,she was tired but still feeling the intense wave of excitement that would come over her as she replayed not just James death but also many more that had come before him. It was breaking dawn now ,but her memories would keep her awake .This was all part of it and she was happy. It was not quite noon when she arrived home .She pulled her Cherokee in the old ,but still well taken care of barn. She was glad that her parents had left her this small farm .It was just right for her needs in so many ways .Lanell liked to blend in,but when she needed privacy this was her refuge .And the rent she got from the farmland that surrounded her house helped to further her calling . She eased to the house ,unlocked the door and entered .She headed down the hallway through the pantry door and through the panel that covered the entrance to her secret place were she kept her mementos ,her little treasures from the need. She opened the box and placed James ring and license inside .She shut the box,closed the panel .It was time for a well deserved shower .And after that a much needed sleep .Lanell Hawk had safely come home again ,the hunt would be on again soon,but for now the need was contented.She could relax and blend in once again..or could she.

Beautiful Angel chapter two (a work of fiction )

It was a little cooler and damper now as they exited the #659 club . My vehicle is just down the block she told John. Liza we can take my car if you would like John responded. Well i would feel better taking mine John ,and i haven't had anything to drink she said as she batted her eyes and gave that winning smile . They made it to her vehicle an unassuming dark blue Jeep Grand Cherokee .Liza unlocked the doors and told" John" get in on the passenger side they tell me its a very comfortable seat she said with a nice little laugh .John gave a little laugh and and did as instructed . Johns balance wasn't to good as he got in.That liquid courage has that effect on a lot of guys Liza had noticed through the years .She cranked the vehicle and they started down the road .She turned on the radio keeping the volume low . John what do you do for a living ,she asked as she pretended not to notice those tell-tale marks on his ring finger ,made by a now phantom ring .The golden band that should be adorning his left hand . I am an accounting manager at a local firm .He was being vague, but charming as he could be . Liza nodded her approval not wanting to probe ,at least not yet .So what kinda sales are you in Liza he asked trying to act as if he cared .Oh I work for a book distributor ,so that keeps me on the road a lot .Cool !John said while eyeing her .Where are we heading ? Well there was this nice area i saw after my meeting today I believe the name was Howel park . John tried to play cool but he was getting excited ,so what are we gonna do out at the park?Play on the slide he said sounding as flirty as he could .Liza smiled and gave him that look out corner of her eye .John we are gonna have some fun ,some real fun .You can handle that huh she purred at John .Oh hell yeah John said ,i 'll give you as much as you can stand .They entered a side road just inside the park .She eased the vehicle down between some trees. John reached over and grabbed her just as soon as she put the Cherokee in park . He was excited alright .She let him embrace her. He was kissing her neck while his hands went to her breast .She moaned a little and let him go a few seconds more ,before she said John sweetly, lets slow it down just a little .His body kinda jerked a bit and he stopped .I thought this is what we came out here for he said .Oh it is baby but my seats in back fold down and are much better than this cramped front seat Liza told him . OK ! i get ya John said . They eased out of the vehicle and into the back seat .It was nicer back here John thought . Liza said just relax John i will take care of you .Those eyes were working their magic .She pulled his shirt off and loosened his pants ."John" was very excited .Liza pulled off her jacket and climbed on top of John making sure she pressed him in just the right way .Close your eyes John she said as she gently kissed his lips .He did as she requested she raised up and rubbed her left ring finger on his lips . He purred a little .and breathed deep in anticipation of the pleasure he would surely be getting any second .To Liza's amusement he didn't even scream when her right hand plunged the knife into his chest. "John's" eyes bugged ,and he made those familiar bucking motions ,his arms flopping and flailing .Oh yes this was the fun Liza loved ,this was the need she had to fulfill .This ride ,straddling her victim ,feeling him die. Here she could be herself .Here she was the beautiful angel.......of death. She felt the shiver ,the electric energy of the successful hunt as "John " finally expired. She felt truly alive ,but just like every hunter knows once the hunt is over the work begins .

Beautiful Angel chapter one (a work of fiction)

The street lights gave off their hazy glow ,as she exited the vehicle. She breathed in deeply smelling the night air . Tonight she would be on the hunt again ,the pang in her gut was starting to grow. The need she had would not be denied ,it was her joy,it was her curse ,it was her calling . She turned toward the drivers side mirror ,checking her appearance .What she saw was astounding even to her .The reflection staring back at her was not the simple plain faced Lanell Anna Hawk ,that was the face she sold the normal world into believing .NO ,it was not Lanell staring but it was a woman who knew how to grab attention.A woman who knew just how to do her hair just right .A women who knew just what make-up was needed . She was so proud of what gift she had . Staring back from the mirror was not Lanell but Angel ,or Liza ,Beth or any other of the names . She used when it was time to hunt . Laughing a little to herself ,she was glad her dimensions were a little larger more sturdier than those starving girls you see on the newsstands. Those girls wouldn't have the strength or endurance to do the things that she could .And you can buy colored contact lenses ,but those didn't compare to her eyes .They were just the right shade of blue to look nice and warm when she was Lanell ,and with a little eyeliner and shadow they became her hypnotic devices when the hunt was on . Tonight she would be Liza,she thought as she entered the club. It was nearing closing time but there was still a respectable crowd at the #659 club. The band was playing slower ballads as the night wound down. Liza surveyed the crowd, so many couples ,or just people acting as couple to fill there needs. Liza felt a little smirk come across her face as she knew how different her need was to theirs. She spotted him out of the corner her .He was in his mid to late 30's she guessed and he was full of liquid courage . He stepped up to her and smiled .I don't think i have seen you in here before ,my name is John .Liza gave him the look ,that one that only her eyes made possible .She gave a little shrug I am Liza ,good to meet you John. Liza knew that "John " was not his name but then again who was she to judge .I am new in town ,here on business .But tonight is all about pleasure she said giving him a coy smile and a slight wink. He was elated at her response . John looks like there fixing to shut down here Liza told him .Would you like to go for a ride to relax a little bit .Oh that would be great he said with a smile .........

fuuny quote

"nothing bonds a father and son together more closely than the truth about the decapitated hooker in the rec room .but pee wee sports will do that too "(quoted by narrator on the SQUIDBILLIES ) i don't know why this made me laugh but it did :-)

tis the season

Its funny how the holiday season gets earlier and earlier every year . It seems that as quickly as we get Halloween over ,that retailers just want to blow by one of the great truly american holidays . Thanksgiving is getting a raw deal these days. Admittedly the history of our country is plauged with falsehood and propaganda. But the celebration of thankgiving was started by people who were gratefull for the kindness of what the Lord had provided them though the relations they had with the native americans . They were put here on a clean slate sort of .I like thanksgiving because its the holiday not about blatant commercialism but about family getting together to share a meal, a laugh , maybe a hunt, games ,and yes things that they are truly thankful for . This time last year ,i was living a lie .I was a man who for various reasons had put himself in a situation were he was living two different lives .One that looked good to everyone around him ,the other life was not the upstanding christian man that most people thought they knew . I am thankfull that I have been restored and renewed in my life . I don't know that i will ever be a traditional christian ,but i do know and recognize that without my faith i am nothing .I am thankful for my family ,we are salt of the earth people .I am thankfull for the friends i have .I am thankful to live in our country the United States of America . I am thankful to be alive . This thanksgiving take time to consider things you are thankful of ,you just might find that you have a brighter and more happy holiday season .God Bless

twists and turns

Life twists and turns in many wild and unpredictable ways .Choices made are factors in how ones life goes .Sometime ago i made a bad decision ,it has gone on to effect several peoples lives to differing degrees.But one thing i do know ,is that no matter how tough it is to deal with .Having gone down this road has has had a greater purpose in my life .I have truly grown in both character and spirit.I am not proud of my actions ,and if i could take it all back i would . As a very powerful song by casting crowns says "its a slow fade when you give yourself away ,families never crumble in a day ".I thank God my family has stayed in tact The experience has made me more mindful of my needs ,more watchful of things in my life and a lot less judgmental. I love to offer words of encouragement to others and take an interest in family and friends lives .But at the end of the day its me and my family that I am called to take care of .But in sharing my joys ,sorrows ,regrets , love ,kindness,and yes even anger with others . I find I get back as much and usually a whole lot more. Whats a life worth living if its not worth sharing with your fellow man.

just a happy post

Very few things in life are as nice as good news or a nice complement .Today my uncle was baptised for the first time in his life ,he is 65 and if that wasn't nice enough news my cousin and his wife were also baptised .It is wonderful news to me and i praise God for it . I also was tagged in picture post where my oldest niece ,said i was the person who changed her life ,then she had another that i was her coolest uncle .I was very touched by her sentiment . I simply take time to listen to her and offer advice as i can .The best thing i told her bears repeating ,you can't let fear control your life .She did put a smile on my face ,the news of my uncle put a lot of joy in my heart .I am very thankful for my family and friends .I am thankful for what i have in this life . I am glad that even in being imperfect God still lets me have a positive influence on those around me ,and lets those around me have a positive influence on me .

tuesday night

It was dark now,he looked around with relief. The little breeze that was blowing made it all the better .The stars shining brightly in the sky ,watch down as he goes about his solemn task .Slowly ever so slowly he rolls his cargo quietly down the drive ,enbracing the darkness . Its only tuesday night but still this task must be done .He looks at the simple brick house that houses the things he loves so dearly ,he wonders what could be happening inside . But still his task goes on .Finally he has made it to the edge of the road .He thinks to himself thank God trash day only comes one time a week .

my stomach hurts

This morning while getting my children up and encouraging them to get ready for the school day ahead . The kids were well on the way to of their respective morning rituals ,when my girl comes and says "daddy my stomach hurts " well after the usual questions :do you feel like you might throw up,when did you last go to the bathroom .It was deemed necessary for her to stay home ,just in case .I started breakfast at eight she helped make the grits ,cause she was now hungry .She later went with me and my wife to the local Sam's club were me and her looked at books and played with items at the store while my wife shopped .My girl was not as sick as she had led us to believe ,but i don't begrudge her a day off with us by herself cause the times she gets to spend without sibling rivalry are few and far between .I hope she starts taking her classes more seriously she is very smart ,and very pretty.But she still has to apply herself to make her dreams come true . I did enjoy the day with her .

the enigma of the fight

The enigma steps to the spotlight ,he is not consumed by fame or the adoration .He trains in the same places he has since a child .He thinks of his work as just his job .But with all the humility he poses he is still the best .He walks the runway emotionless, his game face looks like no other devoid of any hate ,or malice .He doesn't look the part ,he is not huge ,he is not muscular,but behind the blankness he is smart ,beneath the docile demeanor he is lightning fast. Behind his eyes lie a killer instinct . His opponent though bigger in stature , stands and stares at the enigma .He hopes that he will be able to stop the enigma.They meet in the center of the cage ,it is now evident that the opponent's confidence is not as it was in the previous battles he had waged and won.The fight starts it is tough on both men the enigma is cut on the now broken nose ,the opponent had landed hard and the blood flows .The enigma lands the opponent is stunned. The ply their trade on the ground ,it is a rough and bloody battle .The bell rings the round is over .The opponent is not happy. The enigma though battered and bloody is unfazed he has done this many times . The bell sounds the second round starts both men locked in battle the pace is not fast but steady and exciting .Then it happens as it has in many battles ,its swiftness extraordinary .The enigma has watched ,he has waited ,he has timed. The opponent just throed a punch ,but the enigma put his whole being into his punch .The opponent hits the canvas . The enigma though humble ,and grateful to God . He is the best again today .

Why not

He awoke to darkness all around.Where am I he thought ,and how did i get here. His memory was doing him no favor .He knew by deduction that he was on the ground he felt the grass ,smelt the dirt . Where in the world was he . His mind raced around looking for any flash of memory it could find ,but his thoughts were still sluggish .Have i been drugged ,knocked out ,or suffered some sort of stroke he thought .Making his way to his feet he took several deep breaths hoping that would clear his head .Suddenly he knew he was being watched ,by what he wasn't sure.I have to be quiet he said to himself ,that way maybe i will be able to hear where i am being watched from .He stood as still as he could ,listening .In the darkness he heard no sound ,how odd he thought no crickets chirping ,no night bird songs ,nothing but total silence .A cold shiver went down his spine ,this was not good .Fear had not crept in ,it had leaped like a jaguar on its prey .He had learned once that fear creates two type of response in every creature.Either fight or flight .His head swooned ,he was dizzy with fear .How can you fight what you cannot see ,how can you run when you don't know where you are ,or where your going .He steadied himself once more using all the mental strength he could .Maybe I can reason with whatever is watching me he thought . Hello is anybody there he said with a voice that sounded very small and frail to himself.Where are we? He then asked . The only return he got back was silence . Then after a few seconds that seamed to drag by like a long train at a railroad crossing .He knew in his heart that this was the end of the line .He looked up to a moonless sky ,he then realized how black the darkness was no stars shown .He heard movement all around .Whatever they were .They were circling him with an astounding speed and getting closer with each orbit around him. NO! He yelled . They were on him now he could feel razor sharp teeth tearing away at his clothes ,soon it would be his flesh .WHY!He screamed .At that moment all movement stopped .And a voice as ancient and devoid of sympathy .Whispered the last sound the man would ever hear in this life.The ancient voice said ,why not.

it rained all day

I got up this morning early to help my children ready themselves for another day at school .Finally the it was time for them to go wait on the bus .It was barely misting not even enough to call rain ,but my girl did not have her rain coat and she protested,daddy its raining .I quickly put a shirt on and pulled my old tennis shoes on ,grabbed my umbrella and went out to hold it over their heads,while the collective " we" waited on the bus .It was still very dark ,the sky was full of dark clouds that promised real rain was surely on the way .Finally the bus came and they ran safely into the bus .The bus driver looked kind of shocked to see me there with the kids. I smiled waived. He gave me a nervous look then ,gave me a slight nod of his head .The door closed and off they drove .I went back inside it wasn't long before the rain came in earnest and it did so all day .The weather man says we should have sunshine for the next five days ,i sure hope that will make up for it having rained all day .

take your rest old friend

I received a simple text today telling me an old friend had passed away .It stirred my emotions alot ,because having just visited with him and knowing the mental power and wisdom he possessed ,i thought surely he would make it back to his home .He had spoken of the 10 years since his wife had died ,he spoke of his family .I hold great respect for him as he did for me .We had fished together ,talked coin collecting ,talked football .He had battled hard over many different bouts with his ailment .He had a good life .I was blessed to get to know him .take your rest old friend .

tyranny of time

Its funny how a person never knows how much time they have .And do they use what time they have wisely .I visited an old friend today it had been a little while since i had seen him .I was kind of taken by surprise at how frail his body had become,but his eyes though pale were still as crafty and full of life as before his ailment had took hold of his body.I know he had a good life he told of it on many different occasions .He told me he would be alright ,and back home in a week or so . We talked about my kids ,about his grandson ,Lsu football. He had a old black and white photo of himself at 11 years old with a huge buck hanging in a tree beside him .It was his first deer and he beamed when he talked of it .Time and his ailment are not on his side ,but if one could bottle up his spirit,optimism and knowledge they would have a great start to a good life .and possibly over come the tyranny of time.......

a quote from well......me of course .

The best thing a person can do sometimes is keep quiet,smile and enjoy :-)

Grandpaw

It's funny that as a child a few minutes would seem like hours ,mom would say we will go just as soon as i finish this cup of coffee .It would seem as though hours would go by before she would be done with that cup of coffee.But that was the impatience of a child ,as an adult time seems to fly by at an ever quickening pace.The memories of my youth seem like a bunch of small brightly lighted scenes from a chaotic movie,the haze of time swirls around the outer edge but the memories that are there stand out proudly wanting ,begging to be pulled up into the now .They long to be treasured. Grandpa scene one:Its warm maybe spring time ,i am in the sandy dirt on the ground under the Magnolia tree ,i am beside a wooden chair with a small gray headed man in it ,he is smiling at me while i play with a small truck.He hands me an empty inhaler bottle ,there he says now you put that in the back of the truck .Now your truck will not be empty ,I do as he says and this simple action seems to delight the little man to no end. SCENE two: I am in a rocking chair on the front porch of my Grandparents house sitting in the lap of the kind little old man .He is doting over me .I hug him he hugs back . Scene three: The sweet little old man is laying in his bedroom in a hospital bed . He has an oxygen mask on the emphysema is now racing to smother him out .I come in the room with my father ,we go to the side of the bed the kind old man smiles brilliantly me his face pale and tense just moments before is now full of as much life and animation as the oxygen mask and his failing lungs will give him .I climb on the hand rails and say something i wish i knew what words or sounds i used. But in that moment I know the love he holds for me and he knows the love a have for him. He passes from this life a few weeks after this memory .The kindness ,love,and charity he had for me i still carry in my heart .Even though he had many other grandchildren ,he bought my first swing set.He didn't buy any of the other grand kids one. Me and my grandpa shared a special bond ,i will treasure always . He passed from this life before i turned four. I still miss him .........

The pecan tree

The pecan tree stands in the yard of my youth ,its fruit having fallen off its branches to the grass it so gently shadows.It has been here in this spot for longer than i have drawn breath in my body.It may perhaps be the spot where an Indian brave made his first strides toward becoming a warrior ,its nuts may have given nourishment to a weary soldier in the war between the states .But that is not important to the tree.Just to merely be alive in the fresh air in the sun ,giving its fruit away that is the duty and joy of the pecan tree of my youth . I learned tree climbing in that tree ,i learned to hit and catch the baseball in the shade of that tree .I have many fond memories of my life and those that have passed out of this life ,and those that are still a part of my life around that pecan tree.And sometimes when i dream in flights of fancy or of things joy, i return to that tree .The pecan tree of my youth.........

a moment in the sun

The yard was neatly cut ,the roses were losing there luster .It was fall now the temperature hadn't changed that much ,but there was that cool nip in the air ,the unmistakable sign that the leaves would be changing from their lush green hues into their brilliant fall colors .The little blonde headed boy was playing with his tonka trucks at his usual place by the tree where he and his toys had built tunnels ,raised mountains ,fought in innumerable battles against some unknown foe in the days of summer.But the season was changing .He hears his mother call ,he runs to see what she might want with him .She lovingly points to a spot by the whitewashed house were the sun is shining bright . This spot she points to is brighter than the whole yard ,she tells the boy lets get the toys so you can play over here.They both grab what toys are over by the tree and there they set up so that they can both enjoy the moment in the sun .And isn't that what we all really want ....a moment in the sun.