labor day weekend

I am enjoying a long weekend at the house. There is nothing like the familiar surroundings of ones own home ,and being surrounded by my wife and kids really lifts my spirits .I enjoyed the service at church this morning .The praise and worship was very uplifting .I do so love when the Holy Spirit pours out and i feel very connected to the worship .And not just playing music but really have the anointing flow not just through me but into my heart. I thank God that are merging of our churches has gone so well .I am glad to be back working .I know the Lord will see that everything is taken care of .

i love this economy

once again i find myself in the ranks of the unemployed .i keep hoping things will turn around but i just dont see it happening . i hate job hunting but it is what has to be done . i am trying to find something close that will not be to much of a hardship .but who knows but God what he has in store . i will keep looking and praying that the right job will come through ..

july the 11th

on this date in history the most famous duel in the united states occurred.the duel was between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton .Aaron won .Alex died but got his pic on the 20 dollar bill. today July 11 2010 i turned 39 years of age .I always do some reflecting on my birthdays .The years pass by quicker and quicker . My kids are growing up quicker than i can seem to adjust ,but i don't feel overwhelmed about it .I am not overjoyed at the lack of employment steadiness in my life .but in our economy i am just happy to be working . I am gonna try and take some time and look back over my blog .i may be surprised at what i have wrote . but overall i feel blessed .i have faith and hope for me and my family's future .

fortune cookie wisdom

"the most important relationship a person has is with one's own self"

true blood /our family show

the best thing about the new season of true blood is that its one of the few shows me and my lovely wife enjoy together .i have read many of the books in the series and have really enjoyed them .i sometimes wonder if the writers of t.v. shows think that if you stay with one persons story that it will not keep the viewers interest. the quick cuts from each characters storyline to an others is kinda disappointing .some of the actors do a great job with their characters but you don't get to focus on them enough . When cooking if you put to many good things together it doesn't always come out tasting the best . this season seems too busy . i see this in a lot of shows . i will still watch trueblood and enjoy my time with my wife .

blah blah blah =)

its been very hot today.this June has been unseasonably hot as they say .i find that often when the temp rises so do tempers . i know the level that things aggravate me is very low in the heat. but by my nature i really try to stay calm and things pass . i like to be the voice of reason when tempers flare.but Alas this is not always the case . i do have a terrible temper when i have reached the boiling point. and no have not lost my temper today, but there have been a few things that have come close to setting it off at work .but i am enjoying being home and sleeping in my own bed so i am trying not to rock the boat .i like to be a team player and do whats best for the tribe as whole ,even if sometimes its not the easiest for me .

i dont get to decide

Back before me and my wife got married .i was living in Alabama .The job i had at the time i worked wed -sun and was off on Mondays and Tuesdays .A lot of the days i had off coincided with my cousin "Mama D"off day .Mama D is a little younger than my mom but me and her oldest daughter are very close in age and we would play together while mom and mama d would drink coffee and visit. any way Mama D and me would ride to Montgomery and shop or run errands for my Aunts or take them to there doctor appointments . I treasure those times .my life was a lot less busy and things were simpler for me.but i really enjoyed the time me and her spent laughing and talking about different things . She is a great lady that has worked very hard for her family .she goes out of her way to help family and friends in need .she has three daughters of her own and i would hate to guess how many kids she has let stay for extended periods of time at her house . I love her like a mom. i found out a few days ago that she has lung cancer .she found out due to complications from a surgery she had as a result of a wreck last year. she has been in the hospital for a couple of weeks .they started her on chemo Monday .and hopefully she will be out of the hospital in a week . her prognosis is not very good it hurt my heart to hear what they had told her. doctors don't know everything and anything with an illness like this is a guessing game .but still they told her a month if the treatment doesn't work and a year if it does . I love this women she has loved me and my family .I have ate many fine meals with her. i have slept under her roof many nights .I have faith that God can heal her cancer .but i don't get to decide if he will or not. regardless if Mama D lives another fifty years or if she passes tonight she is and will always be in my heart until i pass from this life also . She is a strong lady ,and the center of her family .My life wouldn't be the same if she wasn't a part of my life.

the last shrek movie

we took our younger two children to so see shrek forever after . it was a well done movie and the 3 d was good . but the story was a poinient one .in that shrek had everything he could want but yet didn't feel satisfied .i wont blow the story or what happens .but needless too say the message you really don't know what you have until its gone ,is dead on. the ordinary ho hum of life having a job with regular hours ,knowing what my schedule would be for the most part .being able to actually set up a vacation and know with certainty that i would be off for it .all this has been taken away from me and many other Americans .i hope this is a temporary thing ,i hope things do improve .but most of all i hope when i have the ho hum ordinary life back. that i appreciate it as much as i miss it now . Lord i do appreciate job i have now and it is a joy to see my family in the evenings .but i want to have a good steady job with benefits again .

its nice to see ya .

on the current job that i am working ,i get to see ,speak ,and poke fun at many people i have worked with through the years .it is nice to know a lot people that you work around .it is nice when you are surprised as an old friend walks by and says hey or stops to talk about things for a while .in construction guys move around so much sometimes you lose track of them ,but it is nice to be thought well of.or to even be thought of at all .everyone relies on there contacts to get on jobs ,i helped a past Foreman of mine get on this job. hopefully the guys i know here will one day do the same for me . i try not to burn any bridges ,cause you never know when a familiar face may be the one that helps you along way.

ya can't always get what ya want

Life is always about compromise ,give and take .I have started working a job close to the house which is good .the down side is its 7 days a week 10 hours a day. i love being home and seeing the kids ,getting to spend time in the evenings with my wife.sleeping in my own bed is always positive .and i do get to rush to ballgames in the evenings. but work and keeping a busy schedule all the time,does get a bit taxing on the nerves . i hope i can find balance with work and rest while working here at the house. I hate feeling frustrated and irritable, especially to my family . I love my family dearly ,and the few friends the Lord has blessed me with . Peace and God bless .

weekend

i have had a very nice weekend at the house ,albeit that i started by having to make a trip to the doctors office .i did get to watch my kids ballgames friday .and we went shopping for my oldest son a suit for a dance and his 8th grade graduation. I am blessed to have family and friends that do care about me ,and enjoy being a part of my life. I am very proud of my sweeties grades .she is doing very good as a college student so far. I am thankful for those that share their lives with me.This world can be a harsh place at times .and some times the reality of things can get heavy on ones mind .But you just put one foot in front of the other and continue on doing the best you can. making the best decisions you know how .and with trust and faith in the Lord ,and those family and friends you make your way through this life ....

today

today has been a good day work wise .we had an outage at work and got the task accomplished as they wanted.and in a timely manner. But in the back of my mind today had a certain melancholy feel to it .Mondays are hard with having to get up at 3:45 am to get ready and make the two and a half hour drive to work .I don't like having to be away from my family to make a living ,but it is what i have to do at this time.but on a somewhat somber note today marks the 29th year since my father passed from this life .People always talked about "closure" when concerning the loss of a loved one. But i am here to tell you as long as you have memories of the loved one there is no such thing as closure.you just learn to deal with it. the initial sting eases over time but its still there. I dislike the little makeshift roadside memorials you see along the highways .because it makes the people that knew that person think of their friend or loved ones tragic death. I like to have happy memories come up in my mind about friends and loved ones that have went on to their reward .not the place where their life was tragically snuffed out. so today for me is kind of like those makeshift memorials it reminds of what tragic end my father came too.so i tried to think of fun things me and him did together,wrestling around in the living room,fishing on occasion, making science project ,throwing football,baseball ect. i wish i had my dad with me now he would love my kids .my youngest is very sweet ,goofy ,but he can really be temperamental like my dad .my dad certainly wasn't a perfect man or a great role model.but he was a good guy all the same . all and all its been a good day .sure do wish you were here ....

in the dumps a little /bought a new grill

I try not to sound as old as i am ,but the other day i came to terms with the realization that i could expect some part,parts of my body to hurt at least some everyday .the pain free days of my youth are gone . i also have come to long for the days of playing music with people who were passionate about the music they made. even if they weren't the best at their instrument ,they still put heart and soul into it .I love to play with people that are better than i am because they force me to grow as a musician.Music is such a big part of my life ,my hands don't feel nearly as good as the did a few years ago .i still love playing but feel discouraged at the progress of my playing ,and when i do learn new stuff most of the time i get no chance to really perform it for anybody ,or play it with others .I hope i don't lose my passion as a musician against such dicouraging circumstances.I have had a really good weekend at the house . bought a new grill very happy we did . tilled up ground for my girl to plant flowers ,she did a great job ...

personality layers

you can not truly judge a person by just casual meeting you really have to be around someone for a period of time to really peal back the layers of a persons personality .and sometimes when you really get to know them .they are much different than you intially thought .sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way .i am very glad i didn't right off a guy i work with when we first met .he acted like a big jerk ,not really being rude .but just how he carried himself .he has now become a trusted and well thought of friend. another guy i work with is rather random ,and yes my brother used this mans treatment of him as a reason to drag up .i have found him rather amusing now ,having ate at his house and laughing at him till my throat hurt. so i try to get to know someone before i truly pass judgment on them .sometimes though once you know them you wish you didn't .lol

just saying

In light of recent events ,i sure hope and pray that those involved come to an amicable solution. me included . I hope that each one can get a grip and not try to read to much into each others actions or inaction whichever the case may be .I treat people with the respect i like to have shown to me .But if a person can't show respect then i cant respect them very long .Just saying =-)

i watched a video

i watched a video on the news the other morning of two reporters from reuters news ,that were killed by american soldiers .the video was taken from an appache heliocopter the one that ultimately killed the reporters as well as the other insurgents they were with .from the choppers vantage point the mens camera bags looked like weapons or something to carry weapons. but now that i set this up . while watching i focused on these guys, they were going about there normal activities talking to those around them .the whole group loosely walking down a street by some buildings .they had no clue that the soilders were getting permission to engage . thankfully they stopped the footage before all the fireworks . I am thankful the guys had no idea,that just a few seconds later their lives would be over. they didn't have to dread the inevitable .its appointed once for man to die .i hope they had faith in their hearts .i feel for the families they left behind .i hope they had good lives but i hope they have a better eternity . God bless

lyric quote

separated i cut myself cean
from a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams
been apprehended by a spiritual force
and a grace that replaced all the me i divorced

excerted from the song "Jesus Freak" by DC Talk

writing ,drawing ,scratching on the wall

i work in the construction trade.so most of the time the bathroom facilities i use at work are not very nice .wal-mart has great bathrooms compared to the port-o lets we get to use .one thing that you find on most jobs is lots of writing and graffiti on the walls of the port-o-lets .some writings are about who is the biggest suck-ass .or which Foreman is the biggest jerk,crackhead,idiot ect....getting close to Superbowl earlier in the year there was lots of writing about the saints on the walls. but one thing that is always a steady favorite of the walls is drawings or depictions of naked ladies ,phallic symbols ,male /female engaged in various sexual acts .and yes even some drawings of male/male sex acts .i often wonder are these put up for fun or is this all some people think on .and in turn they think other people might enjoy what they keep their minds on. i went into a port o let today and one of our artist had taken a knife or other sharp object and scratched a drawing on top of the commode lid .it was a well done piece of art ,there were no hesitation marks no excess scratches .this guy had done this before and truly had a vision of what he was presenting. but i wonder why they feel the need to trash the walls up .i truly love to walk into a place that has clean bathroom ,no filth on the floors or the walls. if you work in place that the bathroom is not all trashed you are blessed.

going grey

Saturday evening me and my bride went to shreveport/bossier to go to a concert .we got in contact with another couple and met them over there for a an early dinner. and went to the concert together .we were standing in line waiting for the gates to open when my wife and her friend got to looking in my head.and commented about how much grey hair i have in my head .i laughed at them about it .i dont mind grey hair in my head .we went into the concert and some of the bands featured guys that are my age and older ,and there were several young bands to but i was slighly amused that alot of the artist had their hair colored ,so they would appear younger than there faces and wrinkles told. when i look around and enjoy the youth of my children and realize that time is moving along in my life .i am not worried about going grey ,i am just enjoying the ride. the concert was very good and i we sure enjoyed our evening and friends.

fortune cookie wisdom

If you never change your mind,why have one?

my world will be right .........

I wish sometimes i could right the worlds wrongs .i would like to have companies that sell warranties to not drag you around the block to get something worked on.i would like for the furniture sales person to send the right furniture in the right color on the first time. i would like to only have to go to auto parts store and get the right part the first time ,not the second . i wish employees got the money they truly deserved for their jobs. i wish when someone got a promotion it really meant something monetary. i wish some people would not take what is not theirs .I wish at times i could take back somethings i have done .And i wish i would have done some things i didn't. But this world and all its treasures ,triumphs ,faults and failures will all fade away. I won't quit trying to help those i can ,I am thankful for those who have helped me .but one day all will be set right but it won't be in this world .Jesus said i go to prepare a place for you .I am glad you know me but I truly hope you know him .and more importantly i hope he knows you as his child .

just tiring day

whew what a day it was .i have had some aggravating days ,but this one was very trying on my nerves .but you know what. i do what i can do ,and what i can't get done goes to someone else. the job i am on has been full of poor planning ,poor decisions,and lack of communication .but where there is confusion there is money to be made but also nerves to be worn out lol .

from sprinkles to sunshine

Today i woke to a slight drizzly rain coming down ,i thought oh my we might get a rain out again.as i got closer to work the rain subsided but it still was very dark . then as our work day progressed so did the level of sunshine .it turned out to be a nice day and we got to work and got some things done . sometimes things look dreary and dread full at the beginning ,but once you dig in and put a little effort into it things can turn out good. Thank you God for the sunshine today ,and for the sonshine that thru my family and friends you use to brighten my days .

Times like these

I had a very nice day and a half off.i took my family to a mini family reunion at my cousin's place in Monroe. It was so nice to see family that i hadn't seen in along time and though we are all showing the age and wear and tear of this life .It was a happy and joyous occasion. We sang songs laughed at all the humorous quips and barbs we gave each other.It truly lifted my spirits. All of the family that were there are the offspring of two of my aunts on my mothers side .one of these aunts is in Alabama living with Alzheimer's and the other who was a Mom to all of them has already gone on to her reward. I miss her very much she was an Aunt ,friend,and great fishing buddy.Me and her fished many days in Baker's cut off.And most of the things we talked of in the boat still stay in the boat. It warmed my heart to share a little time with these people ,they are my family. My youngest step-brother also came to the get together it is always good to see him ,his dad would be very proud of him . I have worked in the yard with the kids .Me and my bride discussed things both business and relationship wise .These are the times i treasure,that carry me along .It will be back to work in the morning and a another day on the road .but the time home has been great .

think before.....

Some people need to think before they speak .A word said in haste can often injure a relationship . Be it speaking to a friend, sibling,spouse or total stranger .A good principle is to be quick to hear and slow to speak.think about it . Amen .Luckily i have thicker skin than alot of people .

monday night ramblings

I never known anyone that was totally good just like i have never known anyone that was totally bad. I have seen good people do things that were not good or nice. I have seen seemingly evil or selfish people do acts of kindness . like the song says ""I've seen a loser win ,a sad man grin, and heard an honest man lie .but until you walk a mile in their shoes you'll never know what its like ." But that still doesn't help me from wondering the reason behind some folks actions. Trust is a great thing to have in a person. If you have people in your life you truly trust or if you have people that trust you .You are truly blessed.

The quiet dark woods

The weary traveler makes his way down the highway .It's still many hours before the sun will start to make its rise . He still has many miles to go,he longs to have a life that doesn't require him to leave the ones he loves so often .He needs to hurry along to his destination ,but he has to stop by the road and take a quick bathroom break . Standing by the woods ,deep old and dark he hears nothing but quiet .No animals stirring ,no birds singing .But the quiet woods called to him but time was short .Hopefully one day when he is not so busy or pressed for time he will get to go enjoy the dark quiet of those woods .The weary traveler smiles at this thought ,then he begins to travel on .

fortune cookie quote

It is sometimes better to travel hopefully than to arrive. lucky numbers 2,10,19,23,35,41 .

snow day

it has snowed today which is very rare for the area we live in ,and we have played in it throwing snow balls ,and in general having a good time as a family .we went over to our neighbors and visited them as they had built a large snowman . it is very nice to be outside playing with my kids and my neighbors kids . i am glad God gave me the opportunity to be home for it . its the little things like this that make a lot of the sacrifices we make worth it . and it was great to see my wife's face when i brought her roses home.that meant alot to me ...more than having some stranger deliver them to her ... :-)

grilled tuna

Me and my brother in law went to cane river grill tonight .We sat on the back deck overlooking the water it was a little cool but not unpleasant .He has raved about the grilled tuna at this place so i decided to try it .I have watched tuna being prepared several different ways on the food network but have never tried grilled tuna myself . It was very nice with a rich flavor not unlike a fine steak but with a softer texture .I quite enjoyed our meal together we always chit chat about different things .the service was good and i would go there again . but rest assured this summer I might be cooking some tuna on the grill.

My Hands ....

My hands as most everyone who has them ,are very valuable to me .they have been able to provide a living for my family ,enabled me to express myself musically in a way my voice can't .They have been a source of giving pleasure ,and pain.they have been used to convey an idea and help give more meaning to words that are spoken .They have been used to defend myself and give a hearty pounding to those that have crossed me .over the last couple of days i have noticed that more aches and pains come regularly to my hands when i work .i know time is passing along and my hands though still nimble are not as young and full of stamina as they once were . I have to take little breaks when performing some task because they become pained. but above all i am thankful for the hands God has given me .They are a blessing and a joy to have and he has been able to use them to bless and touch others . They will never be hand model material but i enjoy using them more than i do looking at them ...

positively /negative

it seems at times in life you meet people that are really positive ,but you also meet people that are just in love with negative things. on the current job i am on i have some really sweet positive persons but a lot of people are just plain complainers ,that nothing seems to really make them happy . they gripe about the same things everyday to the point i find it both annoying and quite amusing at the same time . I see people on this job that obviously have substance and or alcohol abuse problems. i try to overlook these faults and treat them like i would like to be treated and hope they offer the same courtesy to me.and for the most part they do. I hope i am seen as a positive influence when people look back at their experiences with me .only time will tell.

a quote from Mr. King

But I know something else as well :there's a place in most of us where the rain is pretty much constant,the shadows are always long ,and the woods are full of monsters. It is good to have a voice in which the terrors of such a place can be articulated and its geography partially described,without denying the sunshine and clarity that fill so much of our lives.
quoted from: Stephen King's "The importance of being Bachman "

rain out/ what a blessing

I awoke this morning to the sound of falling rain .I got up dressed myself and headed to work when i arrived there. many of my coworkers where already headed back to their vehicles . I was so happy when we made it to our work area and they said we would be rained out .I had my truck already packed and headed home .snuck in on my wife and kids they were surprised and our dog skippy was elated to see me.My wife had gotten me two books from a swap thing she does so as of now I am reading "Clapton" I love biographies and memoirs about people of interest.and She also got me "the long walk" by Stephen King I look forward to reading the book which was originally published under his alias Richard Bachman . The Bachman books are his sunny day books .i will enjoy it .God bless .....

if only the highway of life had centerline reflectors

Hind sight is 20 -20. But when traveling down the highway of your life you have to make choices based on feelings,sight ,faith ,experience,hope. Some choices are good some are not. It would be so nice that when you made the wrong turn or decision .That like on one way streets you would immediately see the red reflectors glaring right away .Oh but life is not that simple , life is an adventure . I often ponder thoughts in my head that really don't matter . I hope and pray that the Lord will see fit to help me make good decisions not just for the immediate happening but for the future .Help me to have better foresight.
,

ramblings

well today is Wednesday it has been an semi busy but very long day .I am starting to feel a little better at work . I always miss my wife and kids when i am gone .they are a big part of my life. I hope to find something other than this to do with my life .But i am very thankful and blessed to be working .I just pray that i can find a good balance with home and work .It never ceases to amaze me the characters you meet on these jobs ,or the stories they will tell .well God bless.